Male

Locker rooms, bad centerfolds, and the United States Colonial Marines!

Dennis — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 17:58:51 -0400

I think it's only fitting that my first review here be for my all-time favorite movie of all-time. (notice it's so badass that I even squeezed the words 'all-time' into that sentence twice!). Yes, ALIENS. I guess I''m not that unique. It seems every party I go to I meet at least one person who agrees with me. Mind you, not that I walk around interrupting conversations to interject and ask people what their favorite movie is. No, I have a form I hand out at the beginning of the party like a ballot. It's much more thorough and people have a tendency to be more honest.

How do you prepare a crowd for a wicked movie?

Kirk — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 01:55:00 -0400

I posed a very simple question in the title of this review.

The answer is very simple — Be sure to have a wicked suit-up scene during the opening credits.

Kill em' for me Marv. Kill 'em good.

Kirk — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 01:03:32 -0400

There are several things that make the suit-up scene in Sin City stand out from it's contemporaries.

First, it doesn't all happen at once. Some people might think that this qualifies it as multiple suit-up scenes but since Marv (Mickey Rourke) is preparing for one fight across this time-span I'm qualifying it as a single scene.

Second, a portion of it is a direct representation of panels from the original comic book. I've included the panels from the comic in this review for comparison.

"Realism" is a term rarely applied to suit-up scenes

Kirk — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 20:51:00 -0400

Ask anyone to describe what Batman wears and after they describe the cowl, they will mention the utility belt. Batman's utility-belt is one of the most important aspects of the character. Combined with his prowess as a detective, his belt allows him the chance to compete with more powerful, and arguably useful, heroes. For some reason, Christopher Nolan has made a habit of overlooking Batman's detective skills, thankfully he has given the belt, and the gadgets it contains, plenty of screen time. This is proven during the film's only suit-up scene.

"What are you gonna do, just walk in and arrest the whole village!?"

Dennis — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 17:23:49 -0400

When I first heard about the idea of this site, and that I'd be a reviewer for it... I wet myself. This was sort of embarrassing, as I was receiving fellatio at the time. Why I'd answer a phonecall from Kirk, during a blowjob, is beyond me. But hey, when the batphone rings... I answer.

War, huuuh! Good God, Ya'all!

Dennis — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 18:35:49 -0400

"I'm Gonna Git You Sucka" is director Keenen Ivory Wayan's nod to the great black exploitation films of the 70s. For this reason, he littered the film with stand-outs of the genre, including Jim Brown, John Vernon, and the recently deceased, Isaac Hayes.

The plot is your typical set-up. New guy comes to town, finds out things are being run by... (drum roll)... a villain named Mr. Big. Decides he's had enough and recruits some old buddies to go fuck some shit up.

Even Nazgul's gots to suit

Dennis — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 19:47:41 -0400

In the amazing trilogy directed by Peter Jackson, "The Lord of The Rings", there's a ton of suit-up scenes. I think I'll be reviewing quite a few of them. But I wanted to start with the one that's the most badass.

The Witch King Of Angmar!

You see, The Lord of the Rings is my bible. I've read the books several times now, and I still get moved by many scenes. So it was a real treat that Peter Jackson hit a homerun with his movie adaptations. I also approve of many of the liberties he took.

The Witch King suiting up is one of them.

Un juego complejo de Luchador encima de la escena de la película Nacho Libre!

Brian James — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 21:02:26 -0400

The film's opening credit sequence contains a smart, effective suit-up scene that takes an unexpected twist. A young Ignacio (Nacho) opens a dresser drawer containing icons, religious comics, wrestling action figures, and a holy bible.

"It's Not War, It's Just An Excercise In Teamwork And Tactics"

Dennis — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 21:18:21 -0400

I'm breaking the laws of this site and possibly putting my ass in the sling with the cruel and unforgiving webmaster that is Kirk Clawes. I'm reviewing a scene from a TV show. But dammit, this isn't just any TV show. And dammit, it's worth it!

Who knew a bow & arrow could be so destructive?

Dennis — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 21:39:29 -0400

Jesus, this movie came out in 1985!? Am I really getting that old? I can remember seeing this in the theater with my family, and thinking it was the greatest site mine eyes hath ever behold. What kid didn't want to be John Rambo after this movie? What kid didn't want to hide in a tree, in the middle of a thunderstorm, and then shoot his neighbor with a bow and arrow and then watch him explode? (not saying I did this of course...)

Ash Vs. The Evil Dead

Brian James — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 18:53:52 -0400

Let's take a look at a suit-up scene from the movie that inspired this reviewer to commit his life towards realizing a career as a writer/director.

Ammunition, Grenades and a Pocket Protector!?

Dennis — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 20:42:47 -0400

For the past few weeks now, I've seen the image of a pocket protector being tucked into a top pocket. I woke up in a cold sweat the other night thinking about it. I felt it like a phantom, resting against my chest when I'd go out wearing a shirt with a pocket on the chest. I even accosted one of the salesman at Geek Squad the other day, when he smirked at my dilemma and responded back with a snarky comment.

I knew this image fit into a suit-up scene... but which one?

Boyhood Dreams of Suiting Up Come True

Brian James — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 23:56:45 -0400

There is something purely endearing about the suit-up scene in The Pride of the Yankees.

Freshly recruited Lou Gehrig, played magnificently with a boyish wonder by Gary Cooper, arrives early to the locker room before his first home game as a NY Yankee. He even pauses to consider the door upon entry that states 'Yankees - Positively No Admittance'! His dream has come true at last...

"Where is the horse and the rider..."

Dennis — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 02:57:49 -0400

Plain and simple, this scene gives me goosebumps. It's one of the most beautiful suit-ups ever committed to film. Director Peter Jackson is brilliant in all aspects of his film-making, but it was his strict loyalty and love of the books of J.R.R. Tolkien that made 'The Lord of the Rings' trilogy such a treat.

From a person whose read said books over five times already, this scene in 'The Two Towers' holds a special place in my heart. But we'll get to that in a second.

The Prototype Suit-Up Scene

Kirk — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 00:46:05 -0500

This suit-up scene is so epic, I don't even know where to begin.

First off, I'd like to say that this is to me, the prototype suit-up scene. In fact, this is the suit-up scene that inspired me to create this site. As a kid, Commando was easily one of my favorite movies. This is Schwarzenegger at his best. Everything about his character, John Matrix, is what a growing boy wants to be.

Suiting up to The Bee Gees

Dennis — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 18:26:41 -0400

In the year of my birth, a movie came out which, cinematically, was a landmark. A box office smash. And the introduction to one of Hollywood's greatest Scientologists: John Travolta. But musically, this same film would mirror an age of Americana best left forgotten, but never so well praised and captured. The disco era!!!

This film was (and still is), "Saturday Night Fever".

Who Knew Butchers Were So Bad Ass?

Kent — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 16:23:55 -0400

When you think of your local butcher you probably think of a fat italian guy with a stained apron behind the counter of a small counter, cutting up meat. In the case of Leon in The Midnight Meat Train, we see the wimpiest man become the baddest butcher of all... the human butcher.

Walking into the cold dirty meat packing warehouse, where his enemy has been working for so long, Leon (Bradley Cooper) finds his tools, and almost instinctively knows how to use them and wear them, despite being a vegetarian his whole life.

Suiting up to blow your brains out

Dennis — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 15:47:49 -0400

Rob Reiner's 'A Few Good Men' is one of those films I've seen probably over thirty times. Not because it's a personal favorite. But because it seems to always be playing on TV. That's not such a bad thing. It's a good film with some intense court room scenes. It's also got Tom in full "Cruise Control". (you'll hear more about this in future reviews). But, lo and behold, it also has a suit-up scene.

Good Cruise Control = Good Suit Control

Dennis — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 16:24:27 -0400

I think my review title alone was reason to do a write-up on 'The Last Samurai'. Love him or hate him, Tom Cruise has led a dominant career in some very kick ass movies. He's one of those actors that seems like he can do anything. I picture his agent going to toss a script into the trash, and Cruise going, "Wait. What is that one about" The Agent replies, "Tom, trust me on this one. You play a priest who joins and then leads an Olympic bob-sledding team. It's ridiculous. We wouldn't be able to make it work."

To which Cruise responds, "Oh, we'll make it work..."

The Suit Up Scene Your Mother Doesn't Want You Hangin' Around With

Kevin — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 18:59:00 -0400

You remember that guy in high school? He was maybe a little older. A little older yet still in your grade. He was mysterious. Dangerous. A genuine badass. He was cool. And if by some miracle he excepted you as a friend, you’d be cool too. The younger kids would find you mysterious. Girls would dig you, too.

The most popular Halloween costume of 1994

Kirk — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 22:31:06 -0400

If there is one thing you are sure to remember about Halloween 1994, (even if you didn't recall the exact year until right now) it is that nearly everyone was dressed as Brandon Lee's character, Eric Draven, from The Crow. I don't know if everyone thought it was a unique idea for a costume, or if it was just a good choice because it was so easy to make but boy was it popular.

The suitup don't make the man, OR: my purse, my hormones! You dirty motherfucking hippie!

Tina — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 01:11:18 -0400

I sense that many a monocle has been popped: dude looks like a lady, all ostinato in the act of suiting. The state of Denmark, dig. Not to get all meta (don't mind if I do!), but Transamerica yarns the story of Bree, who is technically still Stanley at time of scene, who is really the incomparable--and almost unrecognizable--entirely XX chromo's Felicity Huffman, stuffing and faux-tucking herself into character. Jame Gumb, your ladyposing was for naught.

I'm A Creepy Doctor, Short And Stout

Haas — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 16:26:07 -0400

As a general rule, Mel Gibson kicks ass. Of course not all the time, but ask yourself: Who walked out of Thunderdome? Who pulled Danny Glover off a bomb rigged toilet? Who single handedly won the American Revolution? He's been an old west card hustler, he taught math and literature to a bitchy kid (despite being ostracized because of his ground up face), and I'm still a little salty that William Wallace didn't win The Gathering.

"God would have mercy. John Rambo won't."

Dennis — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 03:00:33 -0400

"Rambo III" is ridiculous. The movie opens with the suit-up scene. Let's just get that out of the way right off the bat. But I was curious to see if it had yet another suit-up in it closer to the climax. It doesn't. But before I knew that, I pretty much had to fast-forward through the entire movie. I considered it a trip down memory lane, as I don't think I've seen this movie in over a decade.

Late 70's Punk Horror Sicko Suit-Up

Brian James — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 03:39:19 -0400

"The office Halloween party was at the Royalton last week and I went as a mass murderer, complete with a sign painted on my back that read MASS MURDERER (which was decidedly lighter than the sandwich board I had constructed earlier that day that read DRILLER KILLER), and beneath those two words I had written in blood Yep, that's me and the suit was also covered with blood, some of it fake, most of it real."
- Bret Easton Ellis (American Psycho, p.330)